Last night on my way home from work, I cried most of the way. I don't let any of the day-to-day bullshit of my job make me cry. That's wasted energy. I cried because after 4 days of being back at work and putting on hard mile after mile on my feet, I know the fractures have come back. I cry again as I type this. I have absolutely NO direction in my workouts anymore. Everyday it gets harder and harder to come up with something to do. I have no sense of where I am going or what I am trying to accomplish. Yes, there are 2 triathlons I have coming up, but who knows if I will even be able to participate. My training can not be REAL training when one of the three things can't even be done. I've logged pretty much all of my workouts somewhere. I look back to see what looks good for the day, unfortunately, those are way outdated and just to "easy" to do to gain anything from. I could be wrong, what the fuck do I know. I'm no "trained" professional. Over the past month, I've packed on 5lbs. I've been wanting to get rid of 35lbs for what now, forever? Now it's up to 40lbs. Who's to say that next month it won't be up to 45lbs, or 50lbs?
Today I was supposed to be able to move up my running from 1/2 mile to a mile. That's obviously not happening. I can't tell you though how hard it is to NOT just fucking go out and do it anyways. It's raining, so biking is out. I thought I came up with a nice strength/kettlebell thing, but after the first two moves, I just said FUCK IT and put the crap down.
Since it is Friday, I guess I should put up a pic and today this damn pic that you're all sick of us now has different meaning.
Today, I wonder..................just who of these two will win?Usually here I put "hope you all have a great day wherever you are".....today I don't give a shit if you have a great day.
These mornings before work go so damn fast, but I wanted to get this post off because it is good therapy for me to do so. Besides the 25 mile ride, putting my thoughts down, so to speak, help me to move on to the next day-to-day events!
Last night after finishing 3 hours of solid breathing treatments, one after another, some scheduled, some new starts, others "as needed" who called for one, the overhead page came across for "Code 4". At first I get excited because that means I get to run! Then I remember what exactly a code 4 is.....basically, someone is dead and needs to be brought back, if possible and if it is meant to be. Once arrived at the room, the other therapist who beat me there (dammit) had already started her job. I came in and started compressions. Holy crap, every thing I did yesterday morning for my workout was just screaming. Let me be the first to say that doing compressions is GREAT for the abs! I have been doing some hard training for the KB workshop and concentrating on core and upper body. Every sore spot was beaming during this half hour. A few minutes into the code, the other therapist and I had been alternating between bagging and compressions and we knew, as well as the other 20 people in the room, that this guy was NOT coming back. It was his day to leave this earth. Outside in the hall was his son. He came in and I know he did not see all the "equipment" in the room, nor did he know that I broke at least 3 of his ribs and my coworker broke at least 2, nor did he see the breathing tube taped to his face.......he just saw his Dad. A man who more than likely watched many a Packer's game with him, a man who took him fishing when he was young, a man who helped him with whatever he needed help with. He just saw his Dad now slipping away. He came right to the head of the bed and gave his Dad a kiss and then asked us to all please stop. I can only speak for myself, I was crying at that point. I hate doing CPR, not physically, like I said it's an awesome workout, but it also means someone is dead and I am pumping his heart to help circulate the drugs we give them to help it start on it's own. It truly sucks. I am thankful that I know how to do it. I am glad that my son learned it in school. We talked about it this morning. After the docs "called" the code and declared the patient deceased, his son thanked us all, individually, as we came out of the room. I was thanked for doing CPR. That has mixed feelings for me, I guess I would feel better if his Dad had made it. But they don't all make it. Today he no longer has a father. Today he is probably making funeral arrangements. Today he is probably on the phone calling all the family. Today must really suck for him. Me, and the rest of the team, well we go on with another day of helping people breath easier. While this job is a job, it's also people's lives. Some go out the front door and some go out the "back" door.
As I biked this morning, I thanked my parents for being great parents and making me the person that I am. I hope they are proud. This patient who died was in his 60's. My Dad turned 60 and 3 months later he was dead. You just never know, I can only continue to keep myself in the best shape I have ever been in and try to not worry about how much longer I have. Now as I am in the best shape ever, I so fear getting struck with the big "C" or dieing. When I was a fat, beached whale on the couch, the thought never cross my mind. Go figure.
Have a great day wherever you are!
Last week Thursday was my follow-up appointment with the sports medicine doc. I was actually nervous. I knew I could "say" that my foot felt fine, but I also knew that "pictures" tell the real story! The left over fracture on the side of my foot has pretty much healed, however, since my left leg is shorter by 1/2 inch...this will always be a weak point on my foot. I need to keep an eye on my orthotics and the wearing down of the left one for sure. Needless to say, I now make sure I put them in whatever shoes I'm wearing, not just for running. Pain in the a$$ changing them from shoes to shoes, but then again, so was NOT being able to run for the last 2 months.
My "return" to running will be as I was told. 1/2 mile every OTHER day for one week, 1 mile every OTHER day for another week, 1.5 miles every OTHER day for one week....so and so on until I hit 3 miles. Once I hit 3 miles, which will come out to 6 weeks, I am "free" to do whatever!!! Yeah! Yippee! After my appt. I was suppose to meet my friend Becca to bike/swim/bike, however, things changed and we ended up doing our workouts by ourselves. Since it was only in the low 60's and cloudy, I skipped the swimming. Hell, I've just been given the "high sign" to run, of course I'm going to run! So, I biked out 25 miles, ran my 1/2 mile and then biked home the 25 miles. Nice little brick. Went well, felt really weird to run-ran on the trail-keeping the ground soft for a while to get used to the pounding. Nice to be able to do all the things now to get ready for my tri. The 6 weeks will end 2 weeks before my triathlon, should be perfect for a little taper just before and then I'm hoping for a really good race!
I've gotten some good workouts in this week. Lots of biking. Lots of swings.
Monday: swings for 2 minutes work/30 seconds rest, bike x 20 miles
Tuesday: bike x 16 miles
Wed: Snatch MVO2, total gym for abs and biceps, push-ups with feet on steps, bike x 7 miles
Thurs: bike x 25 miles-run x .5 mile-bike x 25 miles
Friday: REST
Sat: swings for 2.5 minutes work/30 seconds rest, bike x 43 miles, run x .5 miles and walk x 3 miles.
Today: REST
Not bad. I have the swings up to 2.5 minutes work-smokin'! For the rest of today, it's cooking for my week to work which somehow just seem to all of a sudden be here! Oh well, time flies when you're having fun!
Now I just have to put this in........MJ's funeral is going to cost the California taxpayers millions of dollars............hello? Is not California like billions in the hole already?? Where is THIS money coming from??? I thought maybe I lived in the worst taxed state, but I guess not. Maybe all the illegal immigrants can throw a buck in to help pay....that would pretty much cover the cost!
Time to watch some hot guys on bikes of the "Tour!" One question....why are there no women in this thing??? I guess I will just have to make history!
Have a great day wherever you are!
Lately these past few weeks I've gotten a lot of inquiries in regards to my workouts, my dedication and my motivation. I've gotten 'em from Facebook and from my blog and just from plain emails. Wow! Who knew I was so interesting!
The first thing I have to say is this. I am so beyond lucky and blessed to have a high level of motivation and drive in what I do in my life to stay on this planet for as long as God has intended me to be here. Where it comes from......I really can't answer that. It is there and I can only embrace it from day to day. I treat it as a gift. I have been chosen somehow to have this and I can not just let it waste or fall to the wayside. I'm thinking it's my parents from up above keeping me going! How cool would that be to die (no time soon I hope!) and find out when I get up there (hopefully I go up!) that they were behind all this!
I've been lucky to have found a really good trainer a few years ago to help me get to where I am now. I've been lucky to find great people over the internet via blogs who help me without them even knowing it. I've been lucky to find great people who help me with my "snatch" when I needed it. I've been really lucky to find a friend who sells me great meat and supplements to keep my stamina and health in check. I'm really lucky to now being able to train with someone who's done IM a few times. The best luck was marrying the best person who supports me 100% in whatever crazy thing I do! So, I am truly lucky and blessed to have all these variables in my life. With great people like all the above, how can you NOT succeed at whatever you want to?
I guess liking what you do also helps! I beyond like, I truly LOVE everything I do and it's just now part of my everyday life, just like taking a pee!
I enjoy being on my bike the most. OK, that's a real toss up with the kettlebells. The two are very, very close on my number one favorite. If only I could think of a way to put the two together........give me some time! To have first completed my first 50 mile ride, to then a 75 mile ride, and now have accomplished a century ride-yeeehawwwww!!!!!
Running? Well it's been so damn long, but I do love it too and know that some day I will be back at it-even stronger than ever! I really, really wanted to pull off a 1/2 mary this year as my big goal, but I see that won't be happening. I've been looking for one to participate in for weeks now and every one that looks good to do (for a beginner) does not meet my schedule. That alone tells me that I better just wait until next year to accomplish this goal. I had hoped to not mention it at all and just all of a sudden be posting a post 1/2 mary report! It's just not working out and there MUST be a reason for this-there is always a reason for everything!
Then to swim......Ah yes, my fun times in water! Head sometimes in and head sometimes out! Whatever gets me past the buoys I say! I've done lots of open water swims this year at the elk farm pond and now I am going with my friend to the lake where the tri I am doing at end of August will be held. I'm used to practicing back and forth in a pool, so these open water swims have been very beneficial to me! Yeah, my luck continues!
Next in line is the kettlebell certification workshop. I can't wait. I'd be happy paying all that money to even just sit there on the sideline taking everything in, but to be able to participate and then have my ass kicked by the best people in the biz? It DOES NOT get any better than that!
Another lucky thing of being blessed to have met all the great people in my life who have helped me conquer this battle called "obesity", is that they all truly, deep down care about me and want only for me to be the best I can be. I have to first start with my family. What huge support from the hubby and son. They are my rocks and sometimes my "sag" wagons! Then my deepest thanks to my trainer and friend, Kori for always being just an email away from all my dumb questions!
I hope that answers some of the question as to where I "get it" from. It comes from within. We ALL have it, we just need to find out what really brings it out in each and every one of us! Then when you find it.....you to can "live the life you love!"
Have a great day wherever you are!
The temp dropped into the 50's last night here. While everyone else in this god forsaken state is pissed, I am thrilled! That means snatches outside!
Today's WOD:
Warm-up......mobility and stretches
Snatches-done w/12kg
warm-up rounds:
5 snatches w/hold on L x 15 seconds
**15 seconds rest
5 snatches w/hold on R x 15 seconds
**15 seconds rest
Above done x 5 rounds
6 snatches w/hold x 15 seconds on L
**15 seconds rest
6 snathces w/hold x 15 seconds on R
**15 seconds rest
Above done x 5 rounds
MVO2 rounds:
7 snatches x 15 seconds on L
**15 seconds rest
7 snatches x 15 seconds on R
**15 seconds rest
Above done x 10 rounds
After the kettlebells I moved into my "inside" workout room and attacked the "Chuck Norris" Total Gym! Did 20 minutes of ab and bicep workouts. I forgot how much I love/hate this machine! Before my hand ever laid itself on a kettlebell, this was one of the main pieces of equipment I used.
After the Total Gym beating, I hit the floor. No not to pass out, to work on some push-ups! I did full push-ups on the floor with my feet actually up on 1 step. Holy Mother of God.....that was rough! Managed to squeak out 5 of those and then another 50 regular ones with feet on floor. Now my lats are getting "packed!" All to get ready to start the "hanging" soon!
From being on the floor, to, next putting on the Ipod, the helmet, the gloves and the jacket (still only in the 50's) and off on the bike. Just a really fast 7 miles to "recover" from all the above and to get some fresh air! That ride took me 20 minutes! Kick ass! Tomorrow I have a big bike/swim/bike brick with my IM friend, so no need to get too tired and end up falling far behind her "tri" bike. Me and "Fred" keep up pretty well, thank you very much!
Hope you all have a great day wherever you are!
Now from the title, one would think this might be a long winded post. But it won't be that bad!
When Jared was younger, he and I used to take day trips all over the state. We'd pack goodies, maps, games and the such and head out early. We've been so many places. Lots of trips, of course, to Marinette. We've been to the northern part of the state, the southern, the western and in between. We had lots of fun doing museums, zoos, parks and even cemeteries back when I was heavy into my genealogy research days. Well, now that he's 13 and a "teenager", his thought of fun has changed! Even though, thank God, he still likes to spend the day with his Mom, our day didn't seem to be like the "olden" days. First off was poor planning. We had no idea of where to go or what to do. Then he slept till 08:30-hello? The day is half shot now! We finally left at 0900 and headed south. Drove to Gurnee Mills in Illinois. Yippee! We're having fun now. Went to the Bass Pro Shop and looked at some fish! Can ya feel the excitement! Then walking around, out of the corner of my eye in the ladies section I see a shit load of Under Armour clothing! Yes, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Jared was just thrilled to death to be stuck in the women's clothing area! He's over 6ft, so it's hard for him to hide behind anything. We lasted there about 20 minutes at best. Left Gurnee Mills and headed back to WI to do whatever. Then again, thank God for my peripheral vision, I see a large "swoosh" out of the corner of my eye. OMG! It's a Nike Factory Outlet!! Holy crap, everyone out of my way I need to get over and take this next exit! Now, Jared is really having fun!! {{Sarcasm here big time!}} I walk in and now there is NO turning back! I grab this pair of shorts, that pair of shorts, this shirt, that shirt and off to the fitting room I go. Jared is just a blur now! After a few pairs of shorts, we're out. Sorry Nike Factory Outlet for leaving you so fast......I promise........I WILL BE BACK without the teenager! Can't wait to sport my new running shorts......that is.....when I get the A-OK to run!
The stores were all around me now at this point-we were at Pleasant Prairie outlet which is south of Kenosha, just before leaving WI to IL. There is Adidas, Nike, Under Armour (good thing I didn't see until we were leaving!), Columbia, etc....I really am NOT a bigger shopping person and I know that sounds hard to believe from this post, but I really am not UNLESS it has something to do with workout shiz! Now, I'm a junkie of dry-wick and spandex!
After the shopping fun Jared wanted to stop at Best Buy and then Gamestop-what the hell, afterall, this was HIS day too! Went for lunch at Culver's (yuck-except for the Concrete Mixers!) and back home by 2:30! He went to the theatre to play a new video game he got and I needed to ride!
Today's WOD:
Bike x 16 miles (1:10)
Took the West Bend triathlon route and then some for practice! Good ride, cool today, only in the 60's with all these big, black and ominous looking clouds all over!
Tomorrow is snatch day! Yeeeeehawwwww!
Have a great day wherever you are!
I just LOVE the first day of my week off. All of a sudden, no matter how dead ass tired I am from busting my ass all week, I have tons of energy just knowing I am not going to have to put the damn scrubs on for 7 days! Another typical week. Well sort of! Busy, lots of miles, lots of people pissin' and moanin' about this or that. Lots of cranky patients, lots of cranky staff and lots of cranky visitors! This week I get to use the "boot" as I feel needed. I have my follow-up with the sports medicine doc on Thursday and can't wait. Of course, the boot is off today. I hope to actually go with the hubby tonight when he goes for his walk in the park.
Today's workout went great.
Today's WOD:
Warm-up.........mobility and stretches
Kettlebells:
2-handed swings w/12kg x 2 minutes followed by 30sec rest x 10 rounds at a 40rpm pace for a total of 800 swings.
Went real well. The weather really dropped in temp and dew point......so while the rest of the state is crabby as hell, I am ONE HAPPY CAMPER! To be outside swinging my "bitch" while it's in the 60's makes me really happy! Last time I did the 2 minutes on and 30 seconds off I went for 8 rounds.....since it was so nice, I cranked out 10 rounds! I got smoked as usual, but feels good. The basic 2-handed swing.......really works the core. The abs are tight, the ass is tight, the thighs are tight......the BEST workout around! I'm telling ya, you just have to slip your hand through the handle of a bell and you'll never go back to anything else you do for strengthening!
Followed by:
Bike x 20 miles. Very WINDY miles as usual. When a cold front comes through, it seems to bring the wind! Right out of the north. While it makes for comfortable riding temperature wise, it's so damn hard against it for pedaling. Good thing I have thighs like the "jaws of life" and a can handle the wind like it's just an other big ass hill! Good thing I swing the kb on a regular basis......the hard work from that ALONE makes the biking that much stronger! See......they are just the best thing to do for all the other things we love to do!
Now.......it's time for 2 hours of I Love Lucy! So gotta go work my abs some more by laughing! Then it's off the get some food in the house......I absolutely hate grocery shopping!
Have a great day wherever you are!
